NatNews

A recent report in The Atlantic suggested that many young adults are beginning to run marathons as a form of stress relief as they begin to experience different forms of quarter-life crises.

While a specific distance may be trending in a certain stage of life, running in itself has long been a way for people to escape from the pressures and difficulties in life and simply connect with themselves in a way they might not always be able to do when immersed in their normal daily activities and responsibilities.

“It’s meditative in a way and empowering when you reach a new goal,” Dallas resident Whitney Phinyawatana said.

New York City resident Alicia Wyatt also looks at running as a positive way to find relief from the day-to-day triggers that often prevent us from feeling at ease.

“It is a time when my body is occupied, so my mind settles and mulls over things that may be causing my stress,” she said. “That enables me to think through things. If I don’t come up with a solution, then at least I have worn out my body, and it allows me to sleep better.”

While running certainly can help individuals in a variety of ways, training for and running a marathon may not exactly be the most stress-reducing activity choice. Phinyawatana said it depends on the pressure one puts on himself or herself.

“Are you running a marathon with the goal of finishing or trying to set a PR?” she said. “I think the goal can inform/affect the level (or lack of) stress.”

Similarly, Wyatt also believes that whether or not a marathon increases or reduces stress is contingent upon various factors.

“Training for a marathon can actually add stress because the time commitment needed to run the miles and get your workouts in doesn’t always align with the phase of your life,” she said. “But if the scheduling doesn’t add to your stress, then the act of having a training plan and following it can be a stress reliever, especially if you can train with friends and share the common goal.”

Not everyone has an appreciation or affinity for running, though. For Dallas-area resident Josh Odegard, it’s not exactly an enjoyable activity or even an effective way to reduce stress.

“I always hear that if something’s bothering me, I should go for a run to forget about it for a while,” he said. “But when I run, all I do is think. I don’t enjoy running, and I get bored very easily while doing it, so when there’s something bothering me and I’m running, not only can I not think about the problem, but I’m also thinking about how much running sucks. If I’m stressed, I prefer to take a nap or, better yet, find someone who wants to go have a drink or do something else. Distraction is my stress relief.”

For individuals who are no longer in their mid-20s or late 20s, the marathon might not have been a somewhat popular way to decrease stress levels and make it through a quarter-life crisis, but that doesn’t mean that running didn’t still play an important role in some people’s stories. Wyatt said she was a runner growing up but stopped once she was out of school. That changed a few months before she turned 30, though, when a friend asked Wyatt if she wanted to run a 10-mile race with her and some of her friends.

“At that time, I was a single mom with a 4-year-old, and getting back into running gave me something for me again,” she said. “It was more that my life didn’t look like I wanted it to as I was turning 30 than it being a quarter-life crisis. Running let me feel like I could control a bit of that—and that started me on a path to meet new friends, take amazing trips, lead a healthier life, and complete 10 marathons so far.”

Even if one does experience a quarter-life crisis, though, there are other ways besides running to get through an era that can produce feelings of not doing enough soon enough or not knowing the direction one is supposed to take. Phinyawatana said she went through a difficult time in her mid-20s, but it took something different than simply lacing up shoes and putting one foot in front of the other to realize that she was where she needed to be.

“I had a major meltdown that I wasn’t staying on the timeline path I’d subconsciously set for myself—a true ‘what am I doing with my life’ moment,” she said. “Once I let go of limiting expectations, I was able to be more present and happier with the here and now.”

Odegard said he didn’t experience such a period of uncertainty and anxiety during which a person questions goals, plans, and even relationships, but he also said that was a time when he was just beginning to “become a real person.”

“I didn’t have many friends, and I wasn’t very social until my late 20s,” he said. “Most people do that in their late teens and early 20s, which is why I feel like I’m at least 10 years younger than I actually am. I don’t think I’m going to have a mid-life crisis, either, though. I have a great life, and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon. And even though I know that any day could be my last, I don’t ever really think about it. I just enjoy the life I have now while I still can.”

Ben & Jerry’s employees are allowed to take three pints of ice cream home with them every day.

Although one NatNews dear reader was recently asked out by a 19-year-old cashier at Target (she declined his request), asking someone to go on a date in an in-person setting has become less common than back in the day when dating apps didn’t exist. Many individuals who currently use the apps, though, often experience discouragement and frustration.

While Dallas resident Alexis Derrow would prefer not to have to use dating apps to find her person, she said she isn’t sure what a better option is.

“I don’t know where to find men between 36–52 who want kids,” she said. “If you know where they are in real life, let me know. You’d be doing a public service.”

However, not everyone opts to invest time and energy into the apps, even if meeting people while out and about is not as easy as Hitch and a million other rom-coms make it look. Dallas-area resident Adrian Acevedo said he doesn’t use dating apps because he hasn’t found them to be successful.

“It feels like a game at some point where you aren’t really learning who the person is—you’re just swiping to see what you will get,” he said.

The existence of dating apps doesn’t mean that the idea of asking people out in-person is completely dead, though. Derrow said she has asked guys out in the past but that it usually doesn’t work out if she is the one initiating anything.

“If they like you, they ask you out,” she said. “If you ask a guy out, it doesn’t feel like he’s even interested from the start.”

But Derrow said she certainly wouldn’t mind if a man asked her to go on a date in a non-dating-app setting. If she didn’t know anything about him prior to him starting a conversation, she said she would make sure to follow the rules of safety.

“I wouldn’t let him pick me up, but we could meet somewhere,” she said. “As long as you’re in a public place, your friends know his first and last name, and you don’t leave your drink unattended, you’re fine. I usually tell one friend everything I know about the guy and tell her if I don’t text tomorrow, I’m dead, and my date is the killer. Safety first.”

Acevedo said he would consider saying yes to a woman who asked him out if she’s someone he would like to get to know more. If not, he’ll pass.

"If it’s someone I know I can’t talk to for more than five minutes, then it’s a no for me,” he said.

And Acevedo said his likelihood to ask a woman out would depend on his knowledge of her status and his odds prior to doing so.

“I would take a chance to ask somebody out in-person if I know she is available and I could tell if she would be comfortable for me to ask,” he said.

It’s not always immediately apparent if a person is single, though, especially if there isn’t an obvious wedding or engagement ring to tell others that the individual is already in a relationship or marriage. Dallas resident Laura Hays said she wishes rings weren’t only worn by those who are not looking for dates or their lobsters (Friends reference, obviously).

“What if there were a ring or some other symbol that single people—not just unmarried but actively looking to date—could wear?” she said. “Surely this must have been tested and failed before. That would make it so much easier to approach strangers.”

Such a piece of jewelry does actually exist, though no known NatNews dear readers currently wear it. However, according to the Pear Ring website, it’s so popular that it’s low in stock.

While there’s no concrete research to back this statement, it’s not completely likely that all single people are going to purchase this product and wear it every single time they go out in social settings, so it’s possible that the in-person asking out might not change in the immediate future. Acevedo thinks much of the reason people are hesitant to ask others out in face-to-face situations is because so much of our lives is now digital.

“You ask out by text, phone, or dating apps,” he said. “Since it’s so easy to do that, most people prefer that route. Another reason could be that if one were to be rejected, it would sting more in-person than if it were through a text, and that can be tough to swallow for that moment.”

Derrow, on the other hand, thinks there is no sensible reason why people should not request dates in-person, even if there is the chance that one gets turned down.

“Rejection is part of life,” she said. “Shoot your shot.”

WEEKLY PHOTO OP

Some NatNews dear readers and friends enjoyed Kentucky Derby festivities over the weekend

Monday, May 6: Dallas Observer Burger Week begins
Tuesday, May 7: Stars vs. Avalanche at the American Airlines Center; Free Rooftop Movie — Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2  at Sundown at Granada
Wednesday, May 8: Hamilton begins at the Winspear Opera House
Thursday, May 9: Cool Thursdays Concert Series — Desperado, Eagles Tribute Band at the Dallas Arboretum; Candlelight Spring — A Tribute to Adele at First Presbyterian Church of Dallas
Friday, May 10: Matchbox Twenty Tribute — Matchbook 20 at Sundown at Granada
Saturday, May 11: WRRC Saturday run from Taco Joint; Mavs vs. Thunder at the American Airlines Center; Cornhole Tournament at Community Beer Co.
Sunday, May 12: Mother’s Day; Free Sweat + Sculpt (Pilates) in the Park at Klyde Warren Park