The Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex is filled with plenty of single individuals, many of whom are active in the dating scene and eager to meet people in hopes of beginning relationships.
First dates do not always go the way people hope they will, though. In fact, one survey revealed that 60 percent of people have admitted to using escape plans to get out of bad dates. For some individuals, this includes having friends or family members call with fake emergencies, while for others, it means simply being honest and letting their dates know they aren’t interested.
Dallas-area resident Megan England, who has been in a long-term relationship for almost four years, said she experienced her worst first date during her junior year of college. She had met (and kissed) a guy during the spring and talked to him every day of the summer, though it was over long distance, as he lived in Georgia, and she was in Oklahoma.
“We kept talking about how we missed each other and making plans for all we were going to do together in the fall,” she said. “He came back in the fall and asked me to go to lunch the next day. He picked me up, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek, and told me I looked pretty. He opened the car door, and we were on our way. About 10 minutes into our drive, he turned to me and said, ‘You know we are going to lunch as just friends, right?’ I was confused, AND THEN HE SAID HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND BACK IN GEORGIA. I was ready to tuck and roll right onto Main Street. But alas, being the people pleaser I was, I said that was cool and suffered through the lunch non-date.”
Dallas resident Travis Kinder, who is now married to Sydney (a woman about whom the ensuing story is not), didn’t have a first date quite like England’s, though he did find himself in somewhat of an unexpected situation.
“I went on a date with a girl off Bumble who did not look at all like her pictures,” he said. “On a first date, that’s a huge turnoff and made me feel like I would never be able to establish trust with her.”
For England, when a first date goes awry, she’s not likely to give someone another chance.
“In general, I’ve never gone on a second date when the first was bad,” she said. “All of my dating consisted of friendships turning into dates (so the first date wasn’t scary) or internet dating blind dates.”
Kinder, however, said that sometimes people are nervous and don’t know how to act comfortably on first dates and end up overdoing it when they are trying to make quality first impressions, so he doesn’t necessarily think an individual should write someone off after a first date that doesn’t go as smoothly as planned.
“You can have a lot of nerves on first dates, and people aren’t always themselves,” he said. “The first date is always a little bumpy, so it does not mean there won’t be a second date.”
Sometimes it can be a little too bumpy, though. One Dallas-area resident who wishes to remain anonymous said she agreed to meet a man from a dating app at a Starbucks, and it was apparent early on that they were not compatible with one another.
“He had taken a fat-burner pill just before our date, so between that and drinking coffee, his behavior was erratic,” she said. “He was talking super fast. He said the sun was in his eyes while sitting across from me, so he moved his chair around to sit right next to me. His shoulder was almost touching mine. How was I supposed to look at him and talk to him when he was right next to me? He could tell I was uncomfortable. He went to the bathroom and then came back and said he was leaving. He got in his car and peeled out in his little sports car. We never went out again.”
But that one bad date didn’t deter her, as she said sometimes first dates go badly for people simply because that’s the nature of dating.
“Two people may have vastly different ideas of what is funny or interesting or entertaining,” she said. “Expectations play a big role, too. While you may hit it off with someone on a dating app, his or her personality in person may not translate to what was expected, leading to disappointment.”
Dallas resident Alexis Derrow is willing to give someone another shot after a bad date if it wasn’t a horrible experience. However, there was one particularly memorable instance she had with a man she met on Match—Derrow said he lied online about his beliefs and his height, and his behavior was not appropriate.
“He insisted on asking if the restaurant had caviar when it was clearly on the menu and didn’t ask if I wanted caviar,” she said. “Then he told the waiter to keep the champagne coming. I only wanted one glass, and it seemed in bad form. At the end of an admittedly terrible date, he called himself an Uber and left me on the side of the street in Chicago when it was 15 degrees out.”
Aside from deceitful information and unwanted actions, Derrow said first dates can also go poorly when individuals are not on the same page as far as what they are seeking.
“I think the problem arises when people are confused or misaligned about what the date is about—just trying to have fun, blow off steam, and enjoy the pleasure of someone’s company versus trying to figure out if the person has any long-term potential,” she said. “Both are valid, but if you aren’t on the same page about what you’re doing on the date, there’s a higher likelihood for disaster.”
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