The dating world has changed quite a bit over the years, and with its evolution have also come changes in standards and expectations for some individuals. These range anywhere from what should and shouldn’t be worn in certain date situations to what the role expectations are for both people involved.
One article of attire up for debate is a hat, particularly a ball cap. Dallas resident Alexis Derrow believes wearing one is acceptable in certain situations but is generally opposed to a man wearing a hat when he is out with her.
“Hats on dates are OK if you’re outside or inside at a sporting event,” she said. “Otherwise, no—and definitely not at the table.”
Dallas resident Peter Stack has initial hesitations about a hat being worn on a date but also thinks it becomes a conditional matter that is less of a concern.
“A hat on a first date is definitely a no-no,” he said. “But after the first date, I don’t think it’s a big deal, especially if you’re at an outdoor patio, like the Katy Trail Ice House or Truck Yard, or on an activity date.”
Aside from what a person does or does not have on his or her head is the notion of courtship and whether or not it truly exists anymore. As Dallas-resident Laura Hays pointed out, some of the expectations and changes in recent years are a result of the way many people meet in our current society.
“Technology and apps have drastically changed the dating culture,” she said. “With easy access to seemingly endless potential dates, there is little incentive to pick one person and put in effort to court them.”
Then there’s the concept of chivalry and whether or not men need to be the ones taking certain actions. Women have made progressive achievements throughout history and have continued to fight for equality with their male counterparts. However, it’s not always crystal clear as to how that translates to relationships, and it’s not necessarily the same for every man and woman.
“There’s a lid for every pot,” Derrow said. “I like the chivalrous things, like opening doors and the little half-stand when a woman leaves the table. Lots of women find that sexist. I think it’s nice. You have to find someone whose expectations match yours.”
For Stack, it’s simply a matter of what he was taught while growing up.
“I’ll always be chivalrous,” he said. “That’s how my momma raised me.”
But there’s more than basic acts of chivalry that individuals must navigate. Derrow said it’s not always so simple to know what one should expect, especially if you aren’t even sure what you want for yourself.
“I think it’s hard to have it all—to be an equal from 9 to 5 and then to be more traditional after work,” she said. “It’s confusing for everyone. How do you know which mode to be operating in?”
While it might not be perfectly clear all of the time, what is important is for a person to know what he or she wants and find someone who can meet those expectations and desires.
“Even after hours, I still want to be thought of as competent and powerful, and that doesn’t jive perfectly with chivalry,” Derrow said. “It’s a sticky wicket and a very confusing time. But it’s very nice to be treated nicely. You just have to be on the same page as to what that means.”
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