Dating in 2024 looks much different than it did in the days of yore, especially with many hopeful hearts using apps to try to meet their picture-perfect matches. For some people, whether using apps or not, the dating process can be a rather tedious endeavor. For others, it’s simply a necessary step to find what they desire.
Dallas resident Alexis Derrow knows exactly what type of man strikes her fancy and while there are certain deal-breakers—such as wearing a hat inside when not at a sporting event (she’s only half-kidding but also not really kidding at all), a weak sense of humor, and lack of physical attraction—that won’t result in a second date, there are other aspects of a person that appeal to her and make her want to continue pursuing a potential relationship with someone.
“I look for good manners and general politeness,” she said. “Also, do they ask questions? Do I ask questions?”
For Dallas-area resident Wesley Sheridan, he seeks women he refers to as “cunning linguists” who are intelligent and can keep up with his wit and banter while engaged in quality conversations. He also prefers to be with someone who enjoys life and has more of a go-with-the-flow attitude.
“I’m serious when it comes to work but definitely need to shut that down at times,” he said. “I need a significant other to be able to do the same.”
Being on the same page in terms of perspective isn’t the only important component on which two people seek to be aligned—many individuals also prefer to have similar views in terms of communication. Hannah Chapman, an Orange County resident who wants to date a man who maintains a healthy lifestyle and steady career and has a genuine sense of adventure, said she won’t wait around for a guy who doesn’t reach out to her often enough.
“While I don’t have any specific expectations of how often we should talk at the beginning, if it were less than every couple of days, I’d move on,” she said.
Derrow, on the other hand, does have specific expectations and believes that communicating often is necessary for two people to get to know one another and grow in a potential relationship.
“Well, if I like him, I want to hear from him every day, even if it’s just a text,” she said. “But obviously, some people feel like that’s a lot.”
And then there are those, such as Sheridan, who don’t think about talking/texting frequency as much.
“I’ve found that other people have stronger opinions about how often we should talk, so I usually let them control the cadence,” he said. “Obviously, though, if there is a reason to call or text, I will.”
If you have a conversation with a person who is single, you might gather a sense of frustration regarding the dating scene in today’s society and how challenging it can be to meet people and—especially—to meet the right person. In Chapman’s view, much of this has to do with the way technology has changed how individuals interact and the expectations for instant results that it has created.
“I think it’s more difficult because people are too scared of offending people by approaching them in-person,” she said. “Also, if someone is busy right away, people tend to move on rather than wait around.”
And Sheridan knows about that busy hustle-and-bustle lifestyle all too well.
“For me personally, it’s become tough because of work travel and moving to new cities,” he said. “First dates aren’t hard to come by, but the follow-up is difficult. Also, being in a sales role requires lots of relationship development, so oftentimes by Thursday night, I have no desire to continue.”
With all of the various factors and obstacles that can present themselves in the dating process, though, Derrow said she still believes that it’s as simple as it’s always been.
“I don’t think dating is complicated,” she said. “I don’t think there are any mixed messages at all. If a guy likes you, you know. If you’re confused, he doesn’t. I think it’s a headache, but I don’t think it’s complicated.”
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Mac Allen is stylish (as always) in his WagWellies dog shoes